he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
