HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
