do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
