Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
