my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
