people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
