we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
