So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
