did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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