I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
