i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
