I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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