"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
