He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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