RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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