Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
