I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
