I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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