I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
