Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize