fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
