don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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