I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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