I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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