she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
