the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
