i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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