can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
