Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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