So drunk its hurt
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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