you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
