need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
