I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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