We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
