i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish you could order shots online.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
