dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
