R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
