sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
is it fun? or sober?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
