ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
