if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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