then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
