Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
