It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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