so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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