Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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