Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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