why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
