I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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