the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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