Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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