a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I got inside last night via doggy door
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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