Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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