Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
