You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
