just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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