That's when you crack a 10am beer
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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