.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
