Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
