Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.