Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here