Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men