She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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