there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?