New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
