her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number