We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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