why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize