Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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