Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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