There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize