New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
soo... how was my night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
