I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
