dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
